Return To The Shore: Lesbian Romance (The Jersey Girls Book 4) Read online

  “Erin, I see the way you love Jane. That tells me that you would make a wonderful mother.”

  “How would we have the time to take care of a child?” Erin shook her head. “Jane’s hours wouldn’t allow her any time to spend raising a child.”

  “I could help,” Abby offered.

  “Abby, you can’t be chasing a toddler around. I’m not sure I have the energy and I’m only thirty-seven.” Erin was finding any excuse she could to put an end to the discussion of what she thought would be an intolerable situation.

  “I wouldn’t be surprised if Jane got pregnant to see her parents move back to New Jersey.” Abby took Erin’s hand. “You’d have plenty of family who love you both and would be willing to help.”

  “It’s still a scary thought, Abby. The baby wouldn’t have any of my DNA the way Jen’s children do.”

  “Does that mean you wouldn’t love the baby as if it were your own?” Abby sighed. “Jane doesn’t have your DNA, but you love her.”

  “If we had a baby that was part of Jane, I would love it as if it was my own.”

  “Then go talk to your wife,” Abby pointed with her arm extended.

  “Thanks for listening, Abby.”

  “Anytime, sweetheart. Good night.”

  “Good night.”

  CHAPTER 3

  Erin tiptoed into the bedroom and found Jane already under the covers. She stripped off her clothes in the bathroom and put on a clean t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts.

  “Are you awake?” Erin asked when she climbed under the covers.

  “Yes.” Jane kept her back to Erin. “I don’t feel like making love tonight,” she said softly.

  “That’s okay.” Erin took a breath to steady her voice. “You know I’ve been thinking…” Jane didn’t move. “Don’t you think we should start thinking about starting a family?”

  Jane turned over and faced Erin. “Where is this coming from?”

  “I just thought if we’re going to do this, we’d better do it soon.”

  “You don’t want kids, Erin. You’ve made that very clear.” Jane lowered her voice. “Especially tonight.”

  “Oh, that. That was just me goofing on Jen.”

  “Did Jen say something to you?” Jane asked sitting up.

  “About kids? No. She just asked me if you were happy.”

  “Why would she ask that?” Jane asked sitting up.

  “I think she noticed just as I have that you’ve been kind of sad lately,” Erin offered, even though she needed everyone else to tell her to do something about that.

  “I’m happy, Erin. I’ve never been as happy since you came into my life.”

  “So you don’t want to have a baby?” Erin asked searching Jane’s eyes.

  “Not if it’s something you really don’t want.”

  “Jane, tell me what you want. Please, honey.”

  “I would like to have a child with you,” Jane said softly as she watched Erin’s face.

  “I’m just concerned that we wouldn’t have the time to raise a child. Your hours are worse than mine,” Erin sighed. “You leave the house at six and return after six. Who is going to take care of the baby? I can help, but I have a job, too.” Erin caressed Jane’s face.

  “I guess we have a lot to think about?” Jane said, realizing that Erin was right.

  “We do,” Erin admitted.

  “I love you for being open to the possibility of us having a baby.” Jane kissed Erin’s lips softly.

  “Let’s see if I can get you pregnant and our decision will have been made for us.” Erin asked with a wide grin.

  “I think that’s a great idea,” Jane said as she climbed on top of Erin.

  Erin couldn’t believe the change in Jane with one simple statement. Is that what Jen was trying to get into her thick head? She’d have to listen to her more often if the night ended up like this.

  “Are you with me?” Jane asked into Erin’s ear.

  Jane’s words brought Erin back to what they were doing. “Yes,” she said wrapping her legs around Jane to get a better contact between their bodies. They moved as if it were a dance that only they knew. Their bodies were so in tune with one another that Erin wondered how she had ever made love to anyone else. She knew that she was Jane’s first in all ways, even though she knew she was a lesbian. Erin was the first woman to make love to her and she hoped that she would be the only woman.

  CHAPTER 4

  Erin was just coming out of Jane’s store when she met Kelly McIntyre. “Hey, Kelly.”

  “Hi, Erin. Getting breakfast?”

  Erin held up her bag. “You bet. Where’s your other half?”

  “Still sleeping. I thought I would pick up her favorite breakfast. She is just as crazy about the breakfast burritos as you are.”

  “Ah, a woman after my own heart.”

  “You and Jane should come to dinner one night. We’d love to have you both over.”

  “Thanks. I’ll talk to Jane and get back to you.” Erin left Kelly to pick up her breakfast.

  Inside Jane was asking questions. “Denny, have you and Ron ever thought of having kids?”

  Denny burst out laughing. “No,” he said emphatically. “Are you and Erin thinking about having a baby?”

  “We’re talking about it.” Jane looked at Denny’s dark hair, but knew that his husband had blond hair like Erin.

  “Are you looking for a donor?”

  “I don’t think I just want to pick out a frozen pop.”

  “Are you asking me to be a donor?” Denny asked stepping back.

  “Your coloring isn’t right,” Jane said barely above a whisper.

  “My coloring?”

  “You have dark hair.”

  “Oh,” Denny said understanding. “You want Ron to be the donor since he has blond hair and blue eyes like Erin.”

  Jane shrugged knowing that is exactly what she was looking for.

  “Wait until I tell Ron,” Denny was bent over laughing.

  “You don’t think he’ll go for it?”

  “I honestly don’t know. He does have some good genes.” Denny wiggled his eyebrows. “And he does look great in a pair, too.”

  “You know there is no guarantee that the baby will have blond hair and blue eyes. He or she could come out looking like you.”

  “That’s what makes it so perfect. It would be like we made the baby together. She could come out looking like one of us or a mixture of both.”

  “She?” Denny asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Or he,” Jane said with a shrug.

  “I’m your best friend and you want someone else’s sperm?”

  Jane giggled, but then saw the serious look on Denny’s face. “Denny, I don’t know what to say.”

  Denny started laughing. “I’m only kidding, darlin’, but if Ron says no, I’ll do it.”

  Jane came over and hugged her best friend until he started to complain.

  “Let me go. I can’t breathe.” Jane released him. “I just have one question.”

  “What?”

  “Is Erin going to leave her job to take care of the baby?”

  “No,” Jane said quizzically.

  Denny laughed. “With our schedule you don’t have time to raise a baby. We run the store, we write cook books and we have a TV show.”

  “I know. Erin brought up the same thing.” Jane now lost the glee she had felt a few minutes ago.

  “It won’t be fair to a baby,” Denny whispered. Or to you. You will be so disappointed to miss the kid’s first steps and when they say their first word.”

  “I know, but there has to be some way.”

  Denny put his arm around Jane. “I’m sure you and Erin can work this out. In the meantime, I’ll talk to Ron.”

  Jane squeezed him again except easier this time. “I love you, Denny.”

  “I love you too, Jane.” He kissed the top of her head.

  *

  The doorbell rang late in the afternoon. Abby walked to the door and opened it to see a woman standing on the porch.

  “Hello. Can I help you?” Abby asked smiling. She looked at the woman’s face and thought she looked familiar, but couldn’t place her.

  “Does Erin Walters live here?” the woman asked looking over Abby’s shoulder.

  “Who is asking, please?” Abby was no dummy. She wasn’t giving out any information to anyone.

  “I’m Erin’s mother, Natalie Walters.”

  “Oh, please come in.” Abby held open the screen door. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “A glass of water would be nice.”

  “I have iced tea.”

  “Thank you,” Natalie said, taking a seat in the living room.

  Abby handed her the glass and sat beside her.

  “Is Erin here?”

  “She’s not home from work yet.” Abby looked at the clock and added, “She should be here any minute.”

  “She does live here?” Natalie asked.

  “Yes. Erin’s married to my granddaughter Jane.”

  “Married?” Natalie asked, shocked by what Abby had said.

  “Yes. They’ve been married for two years now.”

  Natalie kept her mouth shut. She knew there would be trouble if she told this old woman how she felt about homosexuals getting married. But then she remembered that was her husband’s thoughts entering her mind. “I understand my daughter is a police officer.”

  “Erin has been promoted to detective. She’s thought of very highly in this town,” Abby added with a smile as she heard a car door. “I think Erin’s home.” Abby walked to the front door. “Hello, dear,” she said when Erin walked in.

  “Hey, Abby. Smells good in here,” Erin started to say when she saw someone in the living room. Th
e smile left her face when she recognized her. “What are you doing here?”

  Natalie stood up. “Is that the way you greet your mother, Erin?”

  “Mother?” Erin growled. “Again, what are you doing here?” she asked moving closer.

  “I came to see you.”

  “We haven’t seen each other in twenty years. Why now?”

  “Can we speak in private?” As the words left Natalie’s mouth, Jane walked in the door.

  Abby was still standing in the foyer and Erin was facing someone in the room. “What’s going on?” She moved around Erin and looked at the woman. “Hello,” she said moving closer to her.

  Natalie looked at Jane. Her face unfriendly. “Hello. I’m Erin’s mother.”

  The moment she said the words, Jane took a step away from her and stood at Erin’s side.

  Erin turned and kissed Jane on the cheek. “Honey, can you give us a few minutes to talk?” Erin nodded with her head toward her mother.

  “Oh, sure, come on, Gran.” The two women went into the kitchen giving Erin and her mother privacy.

  “How did you find me?” Erin asked still standing.

  “A friend helped me find you,” she answered, not meeting Erin’s stare.

  “So why are you here?” Erin asked again.

  “Why don’t you sit down so we can talk?”

  “I have nothing to say to you.” Erin folded her arms across her chest. Her gun still sat on her hip and her badge was hooked to her belt.

  “I understand you are a detective now?”

  Erin didn’t answer.

  In the kitchen, Abby and Jane were standing by the doorway listening to the conversation in the living room.

  “We lost the house,” Natalie said softly.

  Erin dropped her arms and sighed, but didn’t comment.

  “I guess his drinking and gambling finally caught up with him?” she finally asked.

  Natalie nodded. “He’s gone and I don’t know where he went.”

  “It’s not my problem,” Erin said showing her anger. “Why are you here? For money?”

  “I need a job,” Natalie answered.

  “You have two other children, ones that sided with you.”

  Natalie looked at the floor.

  Erin chuckled. “They aren’t interested in helping you. Have you thrown them out of the family, too?”

  Abby sucked in a breath shocked by what she had just heard.

  “Shush,” Jane said quietly.

  “They have families of their own and can’t help me.”

  “You mean they don’t want to help you.” Erin sat hard into a chair. “And you thought I would? The daughter you kicked out of the house before I graduated from high school. The girl who had to join the service because she had nowhere else to go?”

  Abby again sucked in a breath, but this time Jane pulled her away from the doorway. “I don’t want Erin to know we’re listening.”

  “Is that true? I mean what Erin said?”

  Jane nodded. “Yes.”

  “Do you know how many times I was almost killed in the service? I came so close the last time I was shot. If it had been one inch over, I would be dead.” Erin face scowled. “I know you were contacted, but I never heard from you.”

  This time it was Jane to suck in a deep breath. She stumbled over to a chair and sat down.

  Abby sat with a thud into a kitchen chair, too. “If I had known, I never would have let her into the house.”

  “Gran, it’s still her mother,” Jane said, even though she knew what Erin went through.

  “A horrible mother,” Abby said whispering.

  “All I’m asking for is a fresh start somewhere. I need to find a job and an apartment,” Natalie said softly.

  “This is not my house and even if it was I wouldn’t take you in.” Erin was getting angrier by the minute. She couldn’t believe her mother would come to her for help.

  “I’ll pay for a motel for you for a few days and I’ll get you numbers for social services. They might be able to help you.” Erin sighed. “It would have been better if you asked for help in your own town.”

  “I had no one who could help me.”

  “Come on.” Erin stood up. “Do you have a car?”

  Natalie’s head went up and down.

  “You can follow me to the motel. I’ll call you tomorrow with the phone numbers you’ll need. I’ll be right back.” Erin went toward the kitchen. “I’m going to take…” Erin pointed with her thumb over her shoulder.

  “We heard,” Abby said shaking her head.

  Erin leaned down and kissed Jane softly. “I’m sorry about this.”

  “Don’t worry, sweetie. It’s not your fault. Go get her settled. We’ll have dinner when you get back.” Jane held onto Erin’s arm showing her support.

  “Don’t wait for me. I’m going to stop at the precinct before I come home.” She kissed Jane again before going back to the living room. “Let’s go.”

  Natalie stood up and looked toward the kitchen, but didn’t say anything as she followed Erin out the door.

  “I can’t believe any mother would do that to a child.” Abby kept shaking her head. “Did you know Erin was almost killed in the service?”

  “I knew she had been shot twice and the last one went through the side of her head, but you know Erin. She played it off as if it was just a graze.”

  “What do you think she’s going to do about her mother?”

  “I have no idea. She’s got to be torn. At first all you see is the woman who threw her out. Then I’m sure she feels guilty because it’s her mother.”

  “Erin can’t let that terrible woman guilt her into anything. It is not her responsibility what happens to her mother. In all these years has she reached out to her own daughter? No. She waits until she has nowhere to go,” Abby threw her hands up in the air, “then she looks for her daughter. The gall of that woman.”

  “Calm down, Gran. We have to be supportive of whatever Erin decides to do.”

  “You’re very calm about this situation,” Abby said, surprised.

  “I’m worried about Erin and that’s my only priority. I can’t be jumping up and down commenting unless she asks for my opinion.”

  “I guess you are trying to tell me in a nice way to keep my trap shut?”

  Jane giggled. “Sorry, Gran.”

  Erin came out of the office at the motel with the keys to the room. She handed Natalie the key and turned away.

  “Would you help me with my suitcases?”

  Erin took a cleansing breath before she faced her mother. She reached into the trunk and removed the two bags. Natalie opened the room and allowed Erin space to get into the room.

  “I have no money,” Natalie said before Erin could escape.

  Erin reached into her pocket and dropped a twenty on the bed. “Here. This is more than you gave me when you let dad throw me out.” Erin slammed the door on the way out of the room.

  Erin now drove over to the precinct and looked up the number she needed. She picked up her cell phone and dialed. “Hi, Diane. This is Erin Walker. Would you please call me on my cell phone in the morning? I need to speak with you regarding a personal matter. Thanks.” Erin picked up her keys and left her office.

  CHAPTER 5

  It was after eight o’clock before Erin walked through the door at home. Jane came running out to greet her. She wrapped her arms around Erin and rested her head on Erin’s chest. Jane just wanted to connect with her wife to let her know she wasn’t alone.

  Erin sighed, “What a way to end a good day.” She squeezed Jane close enjoying the feel of her against her body. Erin breathed in and Jane’s scent surrounded her senses.

  “I’ve kept your plate warm. Please come eat.” Jane took her hand and led her to the kitchen.

  “I’m not really hungry anymore,” Erin insisted.

  “I know, but you have to eat something. Just try for me. Okay?” Jane put her arm around Erin and led her to the kitchen. She took Erin’s plate out of the oven and put it down in front of her and then she took a seat.

  “You know she had the nerve to tell me she had no money?” Erin laughed. “Here I am carrying a gun and she had the nerve to say that.”

  “What did you do?” Jane asked taking Erin’s hand.

  “I gave her twenty dollars and told her it was more than she gave me when my father threw me out of the house.” Erin put her fork down. “What am I going to do?” she asked as the tears fell onto her cheek.